Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Winner of the August Book Giveaway!

*facepalm*
I thought the last Saturday in August was next weekend, not last weekend! Sorry about that...and thanks much to those of you who reminded me of the actual date. :)

Sooo, here's the winner of this awesome trilogy:



Jerry!!

Congratulations! I'll get your books out to you asap. As for everyone else, stop by this Saturday to see what I'm giving away next month.

Monday, August 27, 2012

The Clues To A Great Story

I'm still revising. Still. Revising. *deep breath in...slow breath out* But I can see the finish line. Thank God.

I have no post for you today, but I do have this Ted Talks gem. It's chock full of great stuff about story telling. Fair warning: there is kind of an inappropriate joke in the beginning, but after that it's all great stuff. If you don't want to hear the joke, you can read the transcript and skip it. The rest is totally worth it.

Andrew Stanton: The Clues To A Great Story

Enjoy!

Monday, August 20, 2012

500 Word Critique: Adventure Story


It’s been a while since someone took me up on my offer to critique 500 words, and recently a lovely fourteen year old stepped up to the plate. So, here’s the snippet, followed by my critique. Please give your own feedback if you can (and keep it constructive!).

***
Raven gritted her teeth in frustration, her knuckles turning white against the ship's helm as she clutched it to bring the ship to a heave to, ready to meet the storm. Hazel eyes ringed with dark green blazed in anger and defiance, her jet-black hair plastered onto her forehead. 

"Cap'n, they've spo'ed us! She's headed our way! They be comin' from larboard!"

Damn it! she thought. Rain beat down in a relentless torrent upon the world, the waves roaring as loud and wild as a captured beast finally set free. Again and again, the vessel was jostled to and fro at the ocean's whim. It wasn't that Raven disliked the rain––she loved the feel of the drops cascading down her face and relished the wet that it brought with it––but she disliked the problems that it brought for her ship and her crew. Shutting her eyes, she tried her best to calm herself down and calm the ocean down, but to no avail. The sea had a will of its own. 

"All hands on deck!" she hollered in a loud, carrying voice that contrasted with her small build. She whirled to the man standing beside her, her first mate. Wide, light blue eyes studied her with an unnerving calm, as if the two of them were taking a stroll in the park and not riding the storm of their lives, and his auburn hair clung to his head.

"Jory, make sure tha' the loot is safe. Don't let anythin' happen to it, understand?" she commanded. 

"Aye aye, captain," he replied, and dashed down toward the bay, his tall, lithe figure lumbering farther away from her.

"Rags! Scrat!" she shouted at two men that were standing port, near the bridge. "Man the tiller!" The two nodded as they understood the command. "Kar!" she bellowed to the man on the crow's nest, and he looked down, though it was hard to make out the movement in the rain. "Keep an eye on the enemy!" She then yelled out for everyone to hear, "Free the sails! Put your backs into it! We be ridin' out this blasted storm!"

Raven struggled against the wheel as it tried its hardest to turn the opposite of the way she wanted. The rain beat down harder and faster than before, a feat she had considered impossible. It seemed that God had decided to turn the water on full blast, icy sheets pouring down with heartless abandon. Colorful curses flew from her mouth as she heard the dreaded cry of "Wave!", and she braced herself for impact. 

A wall of liquid ice slammed into her, the rain seeming almost warm in comparison, and she tightened her grip on the wheel to keep from losing her footing. Just when she was sure that she would have to open her lips and inhale a mouthful of cold water, the wave passed, leaving her rasping for breath and shuddering with cold in its wake.

Running her eyes across her ship, she scanned the occupants to ensure that none had become at mercy of the sea. Satisfied that everyone had made it, she returned her attention to the task at hand––steering her ship.

"Captain!" one of her crew called. "She's sprung a leak! Water's leakin' in fast in the hull!"

A few choice words flew out of her mouth. "Take Blarn and a few men to patch it up. Hurry! We've no' go' much time!" 

She would've gone herself, but she had to evade the cutlass flapping Navy dogs that were on her tail and steer in this blasted storm. 

"Aye aye!" he said, and then clambered toward the carpenter, Blarn.

Wave after wave of sloshing seawater slammed into the side of the ship. Sheet after sheet of icy rain rammed into her. Burst after burst of howling wind made her fingers, her face, her body go numb.

But none of that compared to what she heard next––cannon fire. Nearby. Her heart jumped into her throat and her eyes widened.

"They're here! They're near! Cap'n, they sneaked on us!"

"Rags! Weren't you keepin' an eye on 'em?!" she asked, her eyes narrowed and her mouth twisting into a frown, annoyed with the fact that he hadn't done his job. She was almost thrown off her feet as a succession of cannonballs collided with the larboard side of the ship. 

"Cap'n, they've hi' us with cannonballs! They've started firin'!" Rags replied, rather than answering her question.

"Oh, really? Couldn't have figured tha' one ou'!" she snapped, her temper sparked. "Rags, make yourself useful 'n' tell me how many they've go' onboard!"

"They've got...two dozen a' least! No, add another dozen to tha'! The ship's huge!" he shouted back, shocked, and then added with a touch of fright, "Cap'n, if they get us, we're doomed!"

***

My Critique
-------------
Raven gritted her teeth in frustration, her knuckles turning white against the ship's helm as she clutched it to bring the ship to a heave-to, ready to meet the storm. Hazel eyes ringed with dark green blazed in anger and defiance, her jet-black hair plastered onto her forehead. (This is the perfect way to introduce your character's description--using action and not a laundry list. I'm not sure it fits just here since we're in the middle of action. Or, at least, maybe not all of it. The hair could work, but the eyes could come later)

"Cap'n, they've spo'ed us! She's headed our way! They be comin' from larboard!" (I had to read this a couple times, but this is actually a clever way to show that Raven is the captain. At first, I thought it was Raven speaking, but then it becomes clear in the next paragraph that she didn't. So if the person speaking here is identified, that will solidify Raven's status aboard the ship)

Damn it! she thought. Rain beat down in a relentless torrent upon the world, the waves roaring as loud and wild as a captured beast finally set free. Again and again, the vessel was jostled to and fro at the ocean's whim. It wasn't that Raven disliked the rain––she loved the feel of the drops cascading down her face and relished the wet that it brought with it––but she disliked the problems that it brought for her ship and her crew. Shutting her eyes, she tried her best to calm herself down and calm the ocean down, but to no avail. The sea had a will of its own. (I like this bit of insight into Raven. I'm not sure it fits just here, since I've got a burning desire to know who's chasing them and why. This would be a good spot to reveal that info)

"All hands on deck!" she hollered in a loud, carrying voice that contrasted with her small build. She whirled to the man standing beside her, her first mate. Wide, light blue eyes studied her with an unnerving calm, as if the two of them were taking a stroll in the park and not riding the storm of their lives, and his auburn hair clung to his head.

"Jory, make sure tha' the loot is safe. Don't let anythin' happen to it, understand?" she commanded. 

"Aye aye, captain," he replied, and dashed down toward the bay, his tall, lithe figure lumbering farther away from her. (These two words contradict each other. Perhaps choose one and then a different descriptor?)

"Rags! Scrat!" she shouted at two men that were standing port, near the bridge. "Man the tiller!" The two nodded as they understood the command. "Kar!" she bellowed to the man on the crow's nest, and he looked down, though it was hard to make out the movement in the rain. "Keep an eye on the enemy!" She then yelled out for everyone to hear, "Free the sails! Put your backs into it! We be ridin' out this blasted storm!" (The first two commands make it seem like no one was manning the tiller, and that no one was keeping an eye on the enemy. But I'm sure they were or the situation would be very different. The last command seems like one she'd shout at this moment. Perhaps scale it down to that and have her direct the order at Rags, Scrat, and Jory. Or, Introduce them at a later time)

Raven struggled against the wheel as it tried its hardest to turn the opposite of the way she wanted. The rain beat down harder and faster than before, a feat she had considered impossible. It seemed that God had decided to turn the water on full blast, icy sheets pouring down with heartless abandon. Colorful curses flew from her mouth as she heard the dreaded cry of "Wave!", and she braced herself for impact. 

A wall of liquid ice slammed into her, the rain seeming almost warm in comparison, and she tightened her grip on the wheel to keep from losing her footing. Just when she was sure that she would have to open her lips and inhale a mouthful of cold water, the wave passed, leaving her rasping for breath and shuddering with cold in its wake. (nice description)

Running her eyes across her ship, she scanned the occupants to ensure that none had become at mercy of the sea. Satisfied that everyone had made it, she returned her attention to the task at hand––steering her ship.

"Captain!" one of her crew called. "She's sprung a leak! Water's leakin' in fast in the hull!" (How did it spring a leak? Waves on their own can't puncture a ship, but if the person chasing them managed to nick them with a cannon or something, that would do it)

A few choice words flew out of her mouth. "Take Blarn and a few men to patch it up. Hurry! We've no' go' much time!" 

She would've gone herself, but she had to evade the cutlass flapping Navy dogs that were on her tail and steer in this blasted storm. 

"Aye aye!" he said, and then clambered toward the carpenter, Blarn.

Wave after wave of sloshing seawater slammed into the side of the ship. Sheet after sheet of icy rain rammed into her. Burst after burst of howling wind made her fingers, her face, her body go numb.

But none of that compared to what she heard next––cannon fire. Nearby. Her heart jumped into her throat and her eyes widened. (We are in Raven's head for the first part of this sentence, but this last bit takes us out and puts us outside. Things that describe what she looks like go from in to out and removes the closeness that the reader feels, and they're often not necessary. Keep an eye out for these)

"They're here! They're near! Cap'n, they sneaked on us!" (Not sure how you sneak up on someone in a storm. It might be possible, but I'm having a hard time picturing it. Is it necessary that they sneak up on Raven's ship? Or can they just gradually get closer while Raven's ship tries and fails to lose them?)

"Rags! Weren't you keepin' an eye on 'em?!" she asked, her eyes narrowed and her mouth twisting into a frown, annoyed with the fact that he hadn't done his job. She was almost thrown off her feet as a succession of cannonballs collided with the larboard side of the ship. 

"Cap'n, they've hi' us with cannonballs! They've started firin'!" Rags replied, rather than answering her question.

"Oh, really? Couldn't have figured tha' one ou'!" she snapped, her temper sparked. "Rags, make yourself useful 'n' tell me how many they've go' onboard!"

"They've got...two dozen a' least! No, add another dozen to tha'! The ship's huge!" he shouted back, shocked, and then added with a touch of fright, "Cap'n, if they get us, we're doomed!"



General Thoughts: This sounds like the start of a great adventure. I like Raven. She feels real, and we are solidly inside her head. There are a few moments where we're brought outside of her, which was a bit jarring, but that's easily fixed. I would have liked to know why they were being chased--I'm guessing Raven is a pirate and 'the law' is chasing her to bring her to justice. But why? What did she do? And why is it so important that she get away? I'd rather have this info up front, and then show insights or the incompetence of some of her crew later on. 

But, overall, this is well written and sounds like a lot of fun. Keep going!!

Monday, August 13, 2012

Best-Ever Teen Novels?


NPR put together a list of what they consider the best ever teen novels. Some of them are classics, and some were recently published. They’ve announced the top 100, so you should check it out.

I always find polls like this interesting. They are completely subjective, and often turn into nothing more than a popularity contest. Which sometimes angers me if a book I find lacking in writing quality wins over books that are amazingly well-written and have layers and layers of depth—and it happened in this list. But hey, a poll is just for fun.

I found this one particularly difficult, though. Not just because there are 235 in the list, but because of the huge variety. There’s light and fun books next to raw and gritty ones. I like both, but need to be in a particular mood for them. So my favorites reflected the mood I was in at the time of voting, which might be different next week.

There were books missing that I thought should be there (not the classics outlined here, btw), and then there are books on the list that I hated, which I think is to be expected.

I would have liked to see Anna Dressed In Blood and Girl of Fire and Thorns on the winning list, because I think they are far better (and better quality) than several of the ‘winners.’ But that’s me. :) What would you have liked to see make the list?

Monday, August 06, 2012

Quotes from Famous Writers

I'm still eyeball-deep in revisions, so no time to write a post today. But I've got some great quotes for you instead! Enjoy!


Genius gives birth, talent delivers.
- Jack Kerouac

What the young writer is looking for is not a critic who will slap him on the back and say, ‘Greatest thing since O. Henry,’ but rather the one who will toss the manuscript down in disgust, with ‘You know better than that! It’s rotten! Do it all over again!’
- Henry Sydnor Harrison

Long patience and application saturated with your heart’s blood—you will either write or you will not—and the only way to find out whether you will or not is to try.
- Jim Tully

When your story is ready for rewrite, cut it to the bone. Get rid of every ounce of excess fat. This is going to hurt; revising a story down to the bare essentials is always a little like murdering children, but it must be done.
- Stephen King

The writing of a mystery story is more of a sport than a fine art. It is a game between the writer and the reader. If, once in a while, a really fine book comes out of this contest, that is good; but the game’s the thing. If, on Page 4, the reader knows that the soda cracker is spread with butter mixed with arsenic, and later on this is proven to be true, then the reader has won the game. If, however, when the reader finishes the book, he says, ‘I didn’t get it—all the clues were there, plain as who killed Cock-Robin, but I didn’t get it,’ then the author has won the game. The author has to play fair, though. He has to arrange his clues in an orderly manner, so that the reader can see them if he looks hard enough.
- Polly Simpson Macmanus

You can’t write a novel all at once, any more than you can swallow a whale in one gulp. You do have to break it up into smaller chunks. But those smaller chunks aren’t good old familiar short stories. Novels aren’t built out of short stories. They are built out of scenes.
- Orson Scott Card

We writers are apt to forget that, as the gunsmoke fogs and the hero rides wildly to the rescue, although the background of this furious action is fixed indelibly in our own minds, it is not fixed in the mind of the reader. He won’t see or feel it unless you make him—bearing always in mind that you can’t stop the gunfight or the racing horse to do the job.
- Gunnison Steele

Sunday, August 05, 2012

August Book Giveaway!

I almost forgot about this! I didn't realize it was actually August until yesterday...and I can't believe it's already August. Where did the summer go???

Anyway, I've got a lovely trilogy to give away this month:

The Paranormalcy Trilogy by Kiersten White!




Paranormalcy
Weird as it is working for the International Paranormal Containment Agency, Evie’s always thought of herself as normal. Sure, her best friend is a mermaid, her ex-boyfriend is a faerie, she's falling for a shape-shifter, and she's the only person who can see through paranormals' glamours, but still. Normal.
Only now paranormals are dying, and Evie's dreams are filled with haunting voices and mysterious prophecies. She soon realizes that there may be a link between her abilities and the sudden rash of deaths. Not only that, but she may very well be at the center of a dark faerie prophecy promising destruction to all paranormal creatures.
So much for normal.
(to read a review, go here)
Supernaturally
Evie finally has the normal life she’s always longed for. But she’s shocked to discover that being ordinary can be...kind of boring. Just when Evie starts to long for her days at the International Paranormal Containment Agency, she’s given a chance to work for them again. Desperate for a break from all the normalcy, she agrees.
But as one disastrous mission leads to another, Evie starts to wonder if she made the right choice. And when Evie’s faerie ex-boyfriend Reth appears with devastating revelations about her past, she discovers that there’s a battle brewing between the faerie courts that could throw the whole supernatural world into chaos. The prize in question? Evie herself.
So much for normal.

Endlessly
Evie's paranormal past keeps coming back to haunt her. A new director at the International Paranormal Containment Agency wants to drag her back to headquarters. The Dark Faerie Queen is torturing humans in her poisonous realm. And supernatural creatures keep insisting that Evie is the only one who can save them from a mysterious, perilous fate.
The clock is ticking on the entire paranormal world. And its fate rests solely in Evie's hands.
So much for normal.


To enter, fill out the form below and come back here on Saturday, August 25th to see if you've won. Good luck!!