Gabie drives a Mini
Cooper. She also works part time as a delivery girl at Pete’s Pizza. One night,
Kayla—another delivery girl—goes missing. To her horror, Gabie learns that the
supposed kidnapper had asked if the girl in the Mini Cooper was working that night.
Gabie can’t move beyond the fact that Kayla’s fate was really meant for her,
and she becomes obsessed with finding Kayla. She teams up with Drew, who also
works at Pete’s. Together, they set out to prove that Kayla isn’t dead—and to
find her before she is.
Interesting way to tell
this story. There are a whole bunch of viewpoints, but I think the intended
main characters are Gabie, Drew, and Kayla. It kind of worked.
The beginning is
fascinating, compelling, and impossible to put down. I really liked all the
official-like documents and transcripts introduced. It’s great to see
everything that’s going on in the search for Kayla, as well as who is involved
and who is suspected. And, in the very beginning, it’s not clear what’s going
to be relevant info and what’s not. It keeps the reader guessing, which keeps
us reading. I loved that.
As the story
progresses, though, it becomes obvious that much of the info we’re getting isn’t
relevant, like the autopsy report and the interview with Elizabeth Lamb. We
were getting too much information at that point, including a few perspectives
from the killer. As a result, I muttered to myself on multiple occasions for
the story to ‘get on with it already.’ A good mystery plants real and fake
clues, but the reader can’t figure out which is which until the very end. And
that’s when we see the real clues and go ‘Ohhhh, that’s what that clue was
about!’ I didn’t get that sense here. And, the action at the very end wasn’t as
suspenseful as it could have been because I kept yelling at Drew and Gabie to
just call the cops already.
Drew and Gabie were interesting
characters. They felt very real with how they were dealing with Kayla’s
disappearance, but sometimes Gabie felt over-the-top. I understand it would be
hard to wrap her head around the fact that she was the original target, but
still. Some of the things she does are kind of crazy. Kayla’s perspective was
probably the most interesting because we see the path she goes on, from her initial
fear to resigning herself to do whatever she needs to do in order to escape.
That felt very real, and I rooted for her to survive.
For me, the story
started out great, but then sort of fizzled into information overload and predictability.
I think that if the story had been streamlined a bit more with less obvious
red-herrings, this would have been a fantastically strong mystery.
4 comments:
Excellent review. It's always nice to be reminded what doesn't work.
Thanks! I tend to read this way and examine what works for me and what doesn't, and then try to learn from it. :) It also means that I never really read for enjoyment anymore, which is kind of a bummer. But I guess it's just the hazards of being a writer. :)
Too much info is not a friend of mine. I only like what I need to know. The only exception would be if the added info makes me laugh. I'm always up for comic relief.
Hi!
I am the Books editor at Before It's News (beforeitsnews.com). Our site is a rapidly growing people-powered news platform currently serving over 3 million visits a month. We like to call ourselves the "YouTube of news."
We would like to republish your blog's RSS Feed in our new Books section. Every post would have a description of your site and a link back to it. Our visitors would love to read your content and find out more about you!
You could also publish excerpts of your books if you'd like :), along with links back to pages where they are for sale.
It's a great opportunity to spread the word about your work and reach new readers. We don't censor or edit work.
We will be featuring and promoting content and book excerpts across the web.
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